What!? Luke you can’t just go and fire God, that doesn’t even make sense! Well, I didn’t actually fire him, but I fired my view of him. A few years back God did a lot of pruning in my life. He took away things that I was selfishly holding onto and not giving up to him. I was seeking to have the highest paying job I could, have the best girlfriend, be a rockstar and live a life with myself in the center. God had different plans for me and one by one took away all those things. He needed to show me that I can’t call myself a Christian and not have him as the center of my life. After a lot of pruning, I was completely broke, single, and was moving back home.
It took me reaching that point to realize my view of God was not accurate. I viewed him as distant from my life and didn’t believe he could be my comfort and my provider. I grew up knowing that God was my “provider,” but never believed it in a real way. I would pray that he would provide rent for the month, food to eat, and that he would guide me in the direction I would go. Sounds good except that I didn’t believe my own prayers. After praying I would wait a few hours and then quickly decide that I needed to get it done myself. I was going to choose my way over his because obviously God was too busy. After a lot of failed attempts to live my life for myself and ending up just feeling alone all the time, I realized that I was not letting God be God. I wasn’t trusting Him to do anything. I was giving God characteristics of another provider in my life: my Dad. Now, I love my Dad, but when it came to getting things done and providing, he didn’t follow through all the time. God has done great work in his life as well, but being raised by an absent Dad made me reflect those characteristics onto God.
So my prayers weren’t working and my view of God was all wrong. I was confused and lost at this point and my mentor explained that I needed to learn the truth about God. He told me about God’s character and how He will always follow through on his word. He wasn’t going to leave me alone and let me suffer, He was going to walk through the suffering with me. He was going to be by my side always and everything He does is good because He loves me. He told me, “Luke, you need to fire your view of God.”
We worked together to eliminate all the views I had that were not true. I wrote them down in a list on a piece of paper so I could get it all out. It took a few weeks to get it all down, but after it was all out there we took that piece of paper and burned it. To me burning it put to death all my false views of God and freed me to build a new relationship with God
It took a few months for me to build a real intimate relationship with God. I had to get comfortable with coming to God with everything and learn that nothing was too small or too big for him. It was actually pretty weird at first because I didn’t feel comfortable. After a few months I started to feel closer to God than I ever had before. My prayer life was really good and things in my life started to turn around. God provided me a job, a place to live, music to play and I was comfortable praying to Him. Now looking back after a few years I can see all the events that lead up to that moment and be very thankful. It was a hard time for me, but it was a time I needed to go through.
‘I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.’ – John 14:18